Ellen Mendoza

“I am content; that is a blessing greater than riches; and he to whom that is given need ask no more.” ― Henry Fielding Dear ELLEN, How do you define inner peace? Most of us think of inner peace in terms of stress - as in, the absence of stress.  But is it really an “empty” state, or is it actually very full, rich and beautiful?  I choose the latter! When you’re at peace, some wonderful things happen: your thinking becomes clear, you feel physically energised, you have a sense of vitality, you’re in a state of flow, and your outlook and attitude are positive.  So emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, inner peace is a state rich with LIFE, where nothing is missing except disempowering and stressful thoughts. You can achieve inner peace in just minutes every day.  Here’s how: 1. Meditate! It’s no surprise, I put meditation at the top of the list. If the noise in your head is causing you grief, you must learn to shut...

Hi ELLEN, One day, a little boy spent the afternoon building a blanket fort in his bedroom, but he had nobody to play with. His mother was busy tending to the baby, and his father wasn’t home from work yet. When his father came home, the little boy ran up to him, greeted him enthusiastically, and asked him to come sit in the blanket fort. The father was tired from a hard and stressful day at work, and said no in a rather grumpy way. “Son, I’ve been working hard to make money all day. Don’t bother me right now, okay? I’m too tired to play.” Very disappointed, the boy went back to his room and sat quietly in his fort. Suddenly, he had an idea. He ran back to his father who was dozing on the couch. He shook his father’s arm and asked, “Daddy, how much money do you make in one hour?” The father was startled out of his slumber and none too happy about it. “Didn’t I ask you not to bother me?” he snapped. But the boy persisted. “Daddy, I really need to know. How much do you ...

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh Dear ELLEN, “Next to “I love you,” and their name, “thank you” are the sweetest words a person can hear. What you may not know is that they are also some of the sweetest to say.  Gratitude makes you feel good. Robert Emmons from University of California Davis and Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University conducted a study on the impact of gratitude on well-being.  Several hundred study participants were divided into three groups. One asked to keep a journal of anything that happened each day; the second was asked to write about unpleasant experiences and the third group was asked to make a gratitude list.  The people in the third group reported making better choices, felt more resilient, reported improvement in their relationships, made more progress toward their goals, felt more enthusiastic and energetic, and reported significantly less stress than the other ...

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” ― Helen Keller Dear ELLEN, Have you been taught to hide or dismiss your feelings?  I hope not - but if you do deny your emotions in any way, you’re doing yourself a disservice. You’re human and emotions are part of your life. You may be a busy professional who believes that showing emotion means the competition will smell weakness and go for the kill.  You may be a father who believes that he has to be the rock of the family and be stoic in front of the kids no matter what.  You may be a woman who was told not to be such a drama queen. Yes, there are times when it’s good to tone down the display of emotion, but you certainly have a right to feel them.  Not allowing yourself to feel emotion can backfire because if the underlying issue isn’t dealt with it will rear its head again when you least want it to. Think about why ...

Hey Tai here, Sometimes it's hard to find somebody to help. There's a lot of need out there in the world. The way I look at it, in the world with all the suffering, you've got to earn the right to drive a Rolls Royce by making sure you give back. I gave $500 to a homeless man and his dog once and he thanked me by saying  “there is a God.” Now some people would probably say he might use that money for drugs and alcohol, and there's some truth to that, but I don't know. At this point in my life I don't feel like it's my place to judge everything, figure everything out, and try to help. Some people use it the right way, some people abuse it, but for the people that do use it, at least people didn't hold back giving because of the people who do abuse it. You know what I mean? Plus with that guy, I kind of have a soft spot for dogs. He's got his dog, and hopefully he buys some dog food, vet bills. You know I feel like animals are a lot of times helples...

Hey  Tai  here, I wanted to talk a little bit on self help. I like self help stuff, self development books, videos, seminars. One of the dangers is Pavlovian response which is one of the 25 cognitive biases. Our brains are hard-wired to give us dopamine when this occurs. And naturally, it wants those little dopamine rushes. For example, that little red ballon Facebook icon you get when somebody's commented on your picture or something are dopamine responses that make Mark Zuckerberg rich. They don't make you rich, they make him rich. And if you're not careful, those Pavlovian responses, when it comes to self help, will have you just being an insight junkie. Just like everyday you're looking for new insight, new insight but you're not implementing any. That's low level activity. It feels, it's kind of like, what Adam Carolla calls a moral satiation, when it comes to things like charity. So people just talk about how,  "Oh yeah, I...