Dear ELLEN,
Have you been taught to hide or dismiss your feelings?
I hope not - but if you do deny your emotions in any way, you’re doing yourself a disservice. You’re human and emotions are part of your life.
You may be a busy professional who believes that showing emotion means the competition will smell weakness and go for the kill.
You may be a father who believes that he has to be the rock of the family and be stoic in front of the kids no matter what.
You may be a woman who was told not to be such a drama queen.
Yes, there are times when it’s good to tone down the display of emotion, but you certainly have a right to feel them.
Not allowing yourself to feel emotion can backfire because if the underlying issue isn’t dealt with it will rear its head again when you least want it to.
Think about why you have emotions in the first place. They give meaning to what happens in your life, but even more than that, they’re powerful messages.
But, it’s easier to try to run away from negative and unpleasant emotions than it is to deal with what caused them.
Of course we all want to be happy and peaceful all the time so to spend more time in that happy state, look at what your negative emotions are telling you.
Here are some examples (please don’t take these to mean that this is what’s going on inside YOU - that’s up to you to determine based on what’s going on in your life):
Let’s say you are feeling angry at your boss for giving you ridiculous amounts of “urgent” work. You may feel some anger directed at your boss, but look deeper. Some of the anger is directed at yourself - you could be angry because you have been procrastinating a bit too much… or you could be angry at yourself for not setting clear boundaries with your boss and letting her know how much work you can realistically handle… or you may be angry at yourself for having taken a job that you don’t enjoy.
Fear might be telling you that you believe you aren’t good enough (“I’m afraid to apply for that job because I don’t think I’m qualified and I will probably get rejected”).
Loneliness may be telling you that you have low self-esteem (“I don’t think people want me around.”)
Depression may be telling you that you’re making the choice to hang on to the past (“I can’t let go of the pain I feel about the divorce. It’s killing me!”).
Resentment and frustration may be telling you that you need to improve your communication skills (“I told him exactly what was required but he still came back with the wrong materials!”).
Anxiety may be telling you that your habits need an upgrade (“I can’t deal with that today. I know I need to get it done but not today. I have too much going on.”).
Feelings are energy, just like your thoughts and words.
When you have a negative emotion that doesn’t make you feel good, it’s a heavy, dark energy that would be better released than held on to.
Expressing the emotion is one way to temporarily deal with the energy (have a good cry, it’s good for you - emotional tears release a lot of pent-up toxins in the body!).
Even better is to deal with the cause of the emotion and release the energy permanently.
Meditation is the perfect vehicle for that. Think about some emotions you’ve felt recently and what caused them.
Then ask yourself, “What can I do to feel better?” Let your intuition guide you.
Don’t try to shut down your feelings.
Use them as an inner compass, as a way to heal yourself. It’s better to experience them, let them run their course and look for the messages they hold, and then take care of the root cause.
Please reply to this message if you would like some assistance in using meditation to release negative energy through self-awareness, intuition and mustering up the courage to take action on self-healing.
To a simpler more fulfilling life,
Steven Johnson
Co-founder
Brainwave Research UK
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